"Sam Regis needs a hand down his veterinarian place and I sure could use some help trying to fix some of the crap them Homo's drive hell I even got a MR2 out back." Right" I agreed, "I need someplace to sleep." You got tilt back seats in the Mustang ain't you?" he asked, and well he had a point."I'll tell Sam you're coming." he said and he wandered off.I glanced around his yard, he had a shiny Chevvy 'Vette which I guessed was his and there was every lilly assed heap of crap from a VW microbus to a Nissan, I figured maybe helping the vet was a better career option than fixing some homo's Japanese crap.Sam was sure as hell glad to see me, he had this long dead cow in his shop and every fly east of silicon valley was a queueing up to get a piece of it."I can't get in and I got a waiting list of Homos a mile long," he said."You want a tractor with a back acter," I said when I stood and looked, "Take the wall out and then you can get the cow out."How was I to know the wall was all that. Of course my parents had no idea of the turbulence that went through my heart at the sight of a beautiful youth. In the gentle gloaming of April I often deliberately chose the longer way home after school in order to pass the football field of the university and catch sight of the robust, youthful bodies of the football lads. The silhouettes of their running bodies in the dusk often evoked a sense of heroicism in me, that sense of golden masculinity, strong, powerful, ready to conquer the world, which I myself lack. At the age of fifteen, I was thin and had a rather pale, melancholic complexion. My natural air of melancholy was often mistaken for unhappiness caused by some trouble, hence my fellow students always tried to cheer me up in vain. I knew exactly the cause of this melancholy: I was in love, not with a particular person, but with the notion of love and masculinity. My burgeoning body longed to be touched, kissed, dominated. Its thirst demands to be quenched by a virile.
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