I could well … Sara, I really like you.. “ “Just like me?” “Well, it obviously goes beyond that. We both know what you did to me in that bed. I should be too old to manage what you inspired me to do. But you’re just fishing for compliments my sexy friend. I could hire you to be my mistress, you naughty slut. But that’s probably a bit too sensational a title for the mother of the groom and surrogate mother of the bride. How about if I hire you as wedding consultant? If you get tired of sharing my bed you can always resign your position and come back here. Or else we’ll have to think of some other excuse after it’s all over. Partner? We could start some kind of business together. There’s another possibility we could eventually try, though some would say I was offering to rob the cradle.”“Are you telling me you’re psychic too?”“No Sara. For us there’s no blessing from above. We’d have to feel each other out like most people do. Maybe six months from now we could have a. Everybody is happy except the arresting officers, who got nothing and never will again. * A giant squid, a huge white sperm whale, and several harpooned Orcas were found beached on the sandbar at the mouth of the Russian River yesterday morning. Tracks detected in the sand indicate at least one peg-legged person left the scene. Sheriff’s deputies and auxiliaries conducted a hovel-to-hovel search in the nearby hamlet of Jenner but found nobody unimpaired enough to have walked that far. * Deputies responded to a disturbance at the Pink Elephant Tavern in Monte Rio last night. One man, a drifter swinging a pointed stick and cursing, was taken into custody. His identity is unclear, ‘Call me Ishmael’ is all he would say. A public defender has been appointed. NOTE: Locals have nicknames for Sonoma County towns. Goonieville = Guerneville, S’nasty-hole = Sebastopol, Rodent Park = Rohnert Park, Wops-a-dental = Occidental, Geezerville = Geyserville, Chickaluma = Petaluma ********************.
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