His nurse asked, “What’s so funny?”The doctor replies, “You need to go in and see this old guy. He has his girlfriend’s name, ‘Tina’ tattooed on his pecker.”So the nurse decides to go check it out. A while later she comes out of the exam room and tells the doctor, “You were mistaken about him. He doesn’t have his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his equipment, he has his ship’s name tattooed on it. The Ticonderoga!”These are compliments of Andrew B.A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.The man says: “I’m sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed: ‘Guess who?’”“But why?” asks the man.“I’m a divorce lawyer.” the man replies.You may have heard about the Southern. .."I file the tickets away in my wallet."Gotcha. Maybe I'll get you a souvenir from Alcatraz, too."He shakes his head."I don't need any prison junk. Got an uncle and a cousin with the Middlesex County Sheriff's Department. They can get me authentic stuff from the county klink." Like what?" Oh, like homemade knives, and booze. They make it out of rotting fruit and floor cleaner. It's not exactly officially endorsed, though."Back in my office, I fast-forward through my accumulated voice mail. Like email, most voice mail messages are general announcements and other assorted junk, like the front desk letting the whole company know that there's a blue jeep in the lot that still has its lights on. My voice mail cull rate is almost as high as the one for email. With all this convenient technology at their fingertips, people have lost the ability for concise communication. Nothing is more tedious than having to listen to a voice mail that rambles on for five minutes without ever getting to a.
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