Glancing at the clock, I started to claw through the bag of mail looking for my copy of Undergear. My shift would be up soon! Just as I grabbed it and spun around to reach for my backpack, I saw Rich Spangler, the guy scheduled for the next shift, getting settled at the front desk. I saw his eyes dart down to the cover of my catalog, then glance back up to meet my startled stare. As I stuffed the R-rated semi-porn into my bag, he smiled. "Looks like your relief has arrived," he said.There were two possible ways to interpret his comment. Given the situation, it made sense to presume innocence. There was approximately zero percent chance that Rich-one of the hottest studs residing in the dorm-would know anything about the hot dudes in the International Male catalog and the relief they'd bring to my raging hard-on. There was no way he even knew that the catalog contained photos of hot, shirtless guys in underwear, swimsuits, and jock straps. And there was absolutely no way that he was. The only other thought I could think was “please let me die”, over and over again. I can’t manage if I lose the use of half my body on top of my other issues. I could still move, but I didn’t try to get my wife’s attention. She was in the other room. I was scared stupid, but If I was having a stroke I’d rather it kill me than adding another level of disability. I don’t want a life as a vegetable in a home.On the Night Of Hell they thought I was having a stroke and gave me a shot that they charged me personally, not the insurance company because I don’t have any, me personally over $98,000 dollars for. That’s just for the medicine in the syringe. Not giving the shot, nothing else. I still owe $40,000 on that shot. A charity picked up the rest. I can’t add more medical bills to my family when I have no way to pay them and have no honest expectations of being around long enough to figure a way of doing it. I hope to be here, but I won’t swear to it like I would have prior to the NOH.As.
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