"Jack went over to my bag and pulled out my laptop. I was going to upload the pictures for him but he insisted I go get cleaned up. I got a couple of bucks out of my bag and took off.As a bunch of us were standing in front of the sinks, washing up and combing our hair, the general consensus was that we were a mess and we sure as hell weren't going to want those last few pictures on the web site. I promised not to use them since I had final say on what went on the page.I stopped by the machine and got a couple of bottles of water on the way back. I'd guzzled half of mine by the time I got back to give Jack his. He thanked me and gave me a quick kiss.Jack had the laptop set up. I could see the screen was full of thumbnails. He'd pulled a yellow pad out of my case and a pen, which he handed me. He had my mini mouse plugged in."All right. I've found some pictures I like but the final decision is up to you guys. We'll just go through all of them in the order we took them."Jack knelt on the. 'A popped gum bubble brings me back.“Where do you go?” you ask, eyebrow quirking curiously. “You just… disappear sometimes. Like, I dunno, shaking loose from reality. Thought I knew that feeling but…”I shake off the memory.“Where the fuck do you go?” you repeat, voice tinged with fascination and fear.I look down, confused. And there it is. I can’t really describe what I’ve drawn. She’s in there, somewhere. Ana always is. Jezebel too maybe. Marshmallows and chocolate. Twisted dreams of a sexualized s'more. But the rest? You can’t really describe what doesn't really exist, that has no name. Can’t be defined with the limitations of human language.I shrug. Ana wanted to know what it felt like. Wanted to get closer, fold herself into me to understand. Make me the happiest punk alive. Stupid girl loved too much. Loved the wrong man, no, kid, too much. No one needed to know where I went and how far I plunged. Love's like venom though. Granny Teague would have flooded me with a litany.
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