The sound came to my ears as clearly as the night before as I closed my eyes and felt the cold hardness of the small bell in my palm. When I opened my eyes the sound was still there, a jingling of more than just the one bell in my hand. Snapping out of my fantasy, I stepped back onto the rocks and sidled up to the crest of the small amphitheatre beach and glanced over the top towards the sound.‘Yesssssssss…’ There, about thirty yards away, clambering over the rocky foreshore in my direction was the young girl, bag over her shoulder. I ducked down, hopefully unseen, and retreated to the other side of the beach and clambered around the rocky spur, then tracked back towards the base of the cliff and began to climb the twenty feet high bluff. As I crested the top of the cliff, the jingling of the bells stopped, and I heard the sound of joyous singing from my nymphet, drifting to my ears on the mid morning air. Scrabbling as quietly as possible to the cliff edge, I soon found my perfect. "How the hell am I going to improve my pitching wedge if that fucking collie won't take my practice balls out of her mouth?" I wondered. I have a big tournament this weekend... (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #2: I spread apart those well turned legs looking for that divine honey pot that I knew was sure to be there. My practiced eye traveled up one leg until I spotted it. Sure enough, "Miller's Honey Box" was stamped on the side and I knew I had found another antique treasure from the 1920's. The sturdy little piece of furniture had stood quietly in the back of the store... (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #3: It was a dark and stormy night... (On second thought, skip this one. It's a stupid opening and totally unbelievable anyway.)Which brings me to my last point. We have to stop using dumb openings to these things. Just get the disclaimer out of the way and get on with the action. Our customer satisfaction ratings have slipped from 97% to 95.3% in the latest J.D..
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