And face whatever waitswithin."Robin nodded, saying nothing."You came here today because you wanted something," the womancontinued, "something so magical and terrifying that you can't bringyourself to ask for it by name. And here you face a paradox, Robbie.Because what you want - what you need so desperately - has no realname."And she was right. There were words - alien, clinical words he'd readin textbooks and heard on documentaries - but they couldn't begin todescribe the complicated emotions he'd experienced in the precedingweeks. Robbie knew precisely what they meant, but the meaningsthemselves were irrelevant. As she'd said, what he wanted had no realname."What can I do?" He asked, teetering on despair."Give it a name." I can't. I ... I don't know how to put it into words." You don't WANT to put it into words Robbie. You want the answer, butyou don't want to ask the question. You want the cake but you don'twant to cook. You want the gain, but not the pain. Like all men, youwant. He’d bring the beer and help me clean it all up when the game was finished. This really annoyed me and put me on the spot. I didn’t want to turn down my best friend’s offer. It was one thing to blow off the other guys. I didn't give a fuck about them. But Sean and I went way back, best friends since we were knee-high. As soon as I said it I regretted it, but I agreed to host a game, just to try it out and see how it went. So the poker game was set for Friday night at 7:30 two weeks from then. Fuck! I really didn’t want to do this, but to hell with it. It was only one night. I silently swore I’d never do it again.I didn’t say anything to Carrie about hosting the poker game at our house until the night of the game. And it figured- she got her nose out of joint about it.I had come home from work and wandered into the bedroom where she was about done changing for going dancing with her girlfriends again. She looked hot. She was wearing a clingy print mini dress with three-quarter sleeves.
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