Every time I added something to my, ‘Want To Have Done’ column, I had to go back and add a variation to my, ‘Want To Do’ column. Sometimes I had to add a different variation to my, ‘Like To See’ column too. It got pretty time consuming.Near the bottom of my third list I was writing, ‘Be bathed and dressed by a naked model’, only to have to go back to my second column and add, ‘Bathe and dress a model’ and then my first column to add, ‘Watch a model get bathed and dressed – with sub categories for HOW they’d be dressed, to include beach wear, sleep wear, sexy, demure, outrageous, slutty ... you get the idea. Anyway, the thought occurred to me that in my, ‘Want To Have Done’ column I could just have easily put, ‘Have a hot girl who’ll do anything I want’. I could have saved myself carpal tunnel.I saved and closed the file at that point. I had a lot to think about, following that exercise in futility. I realized, and I’m about to use big words, because what I had was an epiphany. I’m a. We do not want rigid stereotypes these days. You play with cars andhave a Nascar poster, but like to cook. That's all fine, it means nothingand it means everything." Huh?" It means you present as a reasonably well balanced young person without anyprior demonstrable dysphoria. Except perhaps in one regard. When made tocompare yourself with your hero father, you withdrew into clothing which hidyou and made you anonymous. Tired of anonymity, your only way out is througha body image which could never be mistaken for that of your father."I felt weak. My head was too heavy to hold up, I leaned it on his desk.Looking up at him, I asked in a small voice: "What should I do?" You should do what makes you happy, but you should know why you are doingit. I believe you have body image dysphoria disguised as gender dysphoria.You truly do not like or accept the image of your male body, is that true?Even if you were to become well muscled, you could not accept that image?" That is true." The key to.
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