The thought of leaving him, of never seeing him again was causing her unbearable pain. ‘Jen, I’ve been waiting for you since Jeremy raped you, and make no mistake, it was a rape. When you said no, and he didn’t stop, that makes it a rape. Before that, you would smile automatically, you would have a gleam in your eye that made me envy you. You used to live life, now you just exist. Maybe this is what is missing, your willingness to trust another man, to be with a man.’ ‘I’ve been with guys since Jeremy.’ Jennifer said defensively. ‘Yeah, you have, and then dumped them before they could get close to your heart Jen.’ ‘It’s not that easy Beth. Letting yourself go, being bound is something completely different. Your helpless, and I used to think that was kinky and fun, but now it’s scary.’ ‘Jen, how many fantasies have you had about Bill?’ Jen stopped and looked at Beth. ‘Shit, that dream I e-mailed you about. I forgot about that.’ ‘That’s right, which is why I can’t understand your. Instead she said something else. "Mum, if Thomas does ring, can I go swimming with him?" I can't see why not," her Mum said. "If he is as nice as Hannah says then it would be OK."Joanna got a hug for that. Just as she was leaving, her daughter called her back."You know Mum; one can get padded swim suits too. They work just like the bra Hannah bought me..."Joanna laughed, but in a sweet and understanding way. "That's an idea. We can't have that the young man gets disappointed, can we?" She left the room.Catherine sighed and rolled over. She felt safe and happy and loved.Upstairs Dave was waiting for Joanna in bed. He took a very keen interest in 'Operation 4th Baby' and while Joanna assured him that if they hadn't already done the deed it was too late for this month, his 'well, we'd better make sure' argument was irresistible.As they were basking in the afterglow, Dave was gently playing with his wife's breasts - what they lacked in volume they certainly had in the nipple department..
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