Sally reached out to him and hugged him to her. “Yeah, it’s horrible, isn’t it? Although I know he cheated on me, I still expect Dougie to walk in, pick up the boys, give me a kiss and ... and ... I can’t believe he’s gone! What a stupid, stupid, wasteful way for his life to end.“I know I was divorcing him and you were divorcing Sally, but ... fuck! After what happened to them, I don’t know what to feel, how to react.”Mike nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I know. It’s a pity we didn’t have some foreknowledge of how it would play out.“All the detective knew was that he was having an affair with Nicki and that other woman up in Doncaster, in Yorkshire, but he hadn’t got any details on the husband of the woman he was having a fling with up there, so there was nothing he or we could have done to stop what happened. It’s not our fault...”Sally finished his sentence: “I know that’s it’s not our fault. So why do we feel guilty?” She then burst into tears, taking a tissue and holding it to her. ’ Damian’s rebuff hurt, particularly since they seemed to have developed a kind of rapport, though Abby knew instinctively it wasn’t one of equals. Okay, she was smart, particularly when it came to the binary logic — on and off, yes and no. But of late, Abby operated in an expanse of grey, where lines that had been respected forever vanished and re-established themselves in the distance. Damian had mentioned prudishness, fear, and ego. Did these apply to her? She thought for a moment and had to admit that they did. How might things have been different had she embraced the timid innovations George had introduced? How might they have been different had she encouraged him? She remembered the early years of their marriage. Curiously, she’d never felt diminished, even on her knees before her husband, pleasuring him with her mouth. The giving of herself had occurred naturally, without any notion of reciprocity. She had revelled in her ability to stimulate George, to cross the line of her.
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