‘Your in my bed. You know we can’t do this. You gotta get up.’ ‘I’m just sleeping,’ he protested. His body felt so warm pressed up against mine, I was tempted to let him win. But I knew him and I knew myself. I knew my weaknesses and he was one. ‘I’m going to the couch,’ I told him taking my pillow and comforter and leaving him with a sheet. ‘Spoil sport,’ he mumbled, still feigning sleepiness. I went to the couch and tried to sleep, but I was awake. Fortunately, he soon got out of bed and went to work in the kitchen making breakfast. It was my turn to pretend now. I turned toward the back of the couch and pretended to be sleeping, still hoping for a few extra winks. He could wake me when he was done. Yelling at him for wandering into my bed could wait until I had my coffee. Before long, he came out of the kitchen calling out for me to wake up. ‘I made you breakfast,’ he said, balancing a plate stacked with toast, eggs and sausage with a glass of juice and a mug, steaming with fresh. Call your plumber.”;At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : “Invite us to your next blowout.”;On an Electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”;In a Non-smoking Area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”;On a Maternity Room door: “Push. Push. Push.”;At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”;Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”;In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit ... Stay”;At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.”;In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”;In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”;At a Propane Filling Station: “Thank Heaven for little grills.”;In a Chicago Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak...”;And the best one for last... ; Sign on the back of another.
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