I was suddenly terrified. What would he think. I felt young and inexperienced, almost as if I was a virgin and had never been with a man (I suppose I hadn’t really, only boys!). The door opened and he came in. He’d changed into a pair of boxer shorts, silk I think, and I couldn’t help thinking that he looked good for his age. Part of me was terrified, part was interested. He walked to the side of the bed and looked down at me. ‘You’re beautiful,’ he said and smiled. Holy fuck, I melted. He couldn’t have said anything more likely to make me feel better. I smiled back at him, ‘I’m silly,’ I said, ‘I was going to be sexy when you came in, now I’m shy. I know my bottom’s too big and my boobs are too small. They used to call me ‘big hips’ at school. I don’t think I can let you see me!!!!’ He continued to smile down at me and very patiently said, ‘You’re not silly, just worried. You are beautiful, I’ve told you. I don’t care how big your boobs are or your bottom is, you’re beautiful.. But if I really did have it all, why was it that I was laying in my bedroom, under the dimmed lights above my bed, trying to cry myself to sleep again. Perhaps it was because for almost twenty years, I had lived alone with only a pet dog to keep me company?Yes, I did have everything, everything that is except the one thing I wanted more than anything else in the world, a man to love me. Not because I'm some hideous hag. In fact, I'm been told I am actually quite attractive.With my blonde hair and blue eyes, at 6'1" in height, people that remember seeing those old German War II era propaganda posters depicting the ideal Arian woman in movies might have thought me to be the full figured 'Amazon' that had posed for them.Full figured or not, I was in good shape. But then it could be no other way. I eat right and workout regularly.In fact, working-out is one of the few pleasures I have. I'm usually so tired when I'm done that I forget for a while how lonely I am.Most of the women I know.
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