‘Oh.’ Somehow, I’m disappointed. And I don’t like Kennedy laughing about it. ‘Yeah, he helped me out. Quite a bit, actually.’ ‘Glad to know it. Don’t tell him I said this, but I almost think he kind of likes you. When do we start?’ ‘What’s open on the schedule at Blackbird?’ ‘I have Bennie’s assurance that he’s keeping Studio A open for whenever we’re ready to start.’ ‘Wow,’ I raise my eyebrows again, ‘that’s awfully generous of him.’ ‘Maybe it is,’ Kennedy sounds like he’s getting bored. ‘So, again…when?’ ‘Tomorrow.’ I want to get this over with as fast as possible. ‘Tomorrow,’ he sounds pleased, probably mistaking my hurry for enthusiasm. ‘I’ll tell the band.’ We say goodbye and I look at the phone for a minute before hanging up, as if I could look through it and see John Kennedy looking back at me. Come to think of it, I’ve still never actually met the guy. He’s like my first middle school girlfriend…a phone call-only affair, no touching. The door opens, and Jasmine slips into. It was dark and rounded with a strap attached to it. ‘This is just out from our friends at Bull Brothers, who we really love. They outdid themselves this time, with this brand-new urinal gag.’ I was holding my breath. ‘You can see, once this gets strapped to someone’s face, he becomes a fully-functioning urinal. There’s a wide-opening to the basin here, and the bowl is sealed tight so the only place the piss can go is out through the hole and into the wearer’s mouth. There’s also three separate attachments that hook up to that…’ He fumbled with the box and held up a round, yellow plastic piece. ‘These go in the urinal’s mouth. This is the beginner’s gag, it’s softer so the urinal can bite down and pause the flow if he needs to. This one is longer and channels the piss to the back of the throat, but the urinal can bite down on this one too. And this one is the depressor, holds the tongue down so the urinal has no choice but to keep drinking. It fits in real easy, like this…’ He.
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