I wasn't allowed to date anyone I went to high school with, because that's how girls get reputations. I didn't lose my virginity until I was almost an adult and out of high school with a man to whom I was engaged with a 1-carat diamond ring to prove it. I'd only had 13 lovers before marrying at the age of 26. My motto was even, "Only date one at a time, never more than one partner at a time during sex." During that brief, disastrous first marriage to a young man, who had already been married once before, I totally lost my self, my self-confidence, and my sexuality. I didn't have any sexual urges during the last two years of our marriage as it fell apart. I didn't feel sexy or think I was sexually attractive anymore after the grueling divorce was finally over. A strong hatred for all men continued for a whole year and a half after the divorce. I threw myself into my work, which was finally a joy for me again. I didn't even masturbate for over three years. Until one fall day, I walked. ” The anguished sound of him saying my name made it more real than the news report had.When I ran up, he swept me into his embrace and held me tight as my tears finally fell. The two of us were soon surrounded by the rest of the residents who wrapped us both in their arms.I finally cried myself out. Simon let me go and drew me down to sit next to him on the couch. The news station would occasionally repeat the story of the plane crash, but in between we all spoke about our memories of Sam. I leaned into Simon’s side and hugged his arm around me. It made me feel less alone.I pieced together what had happened while listening to them all talk. Sam’s parents had shown up Saturday afternoon. Apparently, the photographer had tried to sell the pictures of us kissing and her father caught wind of it before they made it to the tabloids. He flew in for damage control and to pick up Sam.Sam had been hysterical when her father took her phone away. His staff packed up her room while her mother.
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