I can’t imagine what the red tops are going to make of this in the morning.” “I know. I so don’t need this just now.” “That’s an understatement. I’m not going to ask about the veracity of all this, Jenny. Just sort it.” “Consider it sorted, Prime Minister. * Two days later… North Rogering and Rimming constituency office. Jenny Humpworthy is assessing the damage of the recent revelations of her personal life and looks at the latest polls. She leafs through a couple of newspapers and tosses them aside in disgust. She knows she needs to pour water on the fire and has called a meeting with Gerry Felcher, editor of the London Chronicle. Jenny is dressed in a short black skirt, hold ups and a shiny scarlet blouse, whose pearl buttons catch the sunshine as it pours through her office window. There is a knock on her door and she sits back in her chair. “Gerry, good morning.” “Hello Jenny. How’s things?” “Been better. Worse things happen at sea and all that.” She pushes her chair back,. Nine. Not nineteen or sixteen or even thirteen. Nine. So why do they have to do the whole romantic and flirty thing? Watching them make goo-goo eyes at each other and say things like “My girlfriend and me really like singing together” just made me cringe. I didn’t want to correct him to “my girlfriend and I” as much as to “my friend and me.” Kids that age are supposed to make cute grammatical errors; they are not supposed to have lovers.Yes, I said lovers, because they don’t present themselves as kids with a cute crush, but as two yearning souls deeply in love with each other, and more than a hint that they might be making love. Whether it’s the songs they sing (“Islands in the Stream” and “Afternoon Delight” come to mind) or Paula coquettishly suggesting that “you show me yours if I show you mine” is “nothing new” to them, the faint and unpleasant scent of childhood sex is never far away.Mind you, it is a faint scent, so faint that you’re never quite sure that you smelled it. There.
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