.Then I discovered that I was gay, and I decided to pause any decision about taking hormone supplements or having surgeries. I did continue to wear the compression shirts despite detesting those fucking shirts from hell. I couldn’t stop wearing those; I had to hide my buddies. If I didn’t, I would draw too much attention to myself. I could handle the attention of not hiding them, but the fear back then and to this day has always been that it might embolden some homophobic ass hole to say or try something stupid, and I can’t have that.Years earlier...In the eighth grade, the class bully thought it would be a good idea to embarrass me. He had noticed what I had been hiding because I foolishly made the stupid decision of not wearing my compression shirt that day. They weren’t as defined as they are now; they were still itty bitties, but you could still notice them. Had the fucking idiot just run his mouth, it probably would have ended there. But when he grabbed one and tried to rip it. I tried as hard as possible not to stare at my friends hot daughter bit it was hard and I think she caught me too because at one point she looked over at me and winked. She was not even wearing make up and the wind had made her cheeks rosey.I was starting to feel guilty about the thoughts I was having about what I wanted to do to that young fat body. I was thirty nine for God sake.It did not last though. She came in said hello to us and took her messenger bag and went up stairs to do home work. Nothing else to do as everything in town was closed because of the storm. The three of us played a few games of cribbage and at about ten o’clock I could see that Greg and Eva were getting touchy feely and about a half hour later they called it a night and went upstairs. I then went to the basement and pulled out the bed and put all the blankets on but I was not really sleepy so I went back up to the front room and poured another cup of coffee and sat on the couch in the dark watching.
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