What good does it do me now? Suddenly, as I look longer at it, the thing I want most in the whole universe is to use that blender, to blend something together inside it. Of course, without electricity, I can’t, and that just frustrates me even more. “Beep,” I hear from upstairs. “Beep” is what it says, but what it means is “you never use that fucking blender. You probably never will. You just want to because you can’t.” “Beep.” Fuck you, computer. Maybe it’s right, though. Of course it’s right. How could the computer be wrong? No way, not possible. Time flies when you’re having fun, but when the electricity stops, time stands still. Ask the VCR – it thinks time is standing still. The Playstation 2 knows it’s true. As the gum stills in my mouth, hiding under my tongue, I too know that time has stopped. If time would only skip ahead about an hour and a half, when my power would come back, when I could be happy again, when I could get on with my real life and stop standing barefoot on. I was still in my workout clothes from the gym. I was feeling the chill as night fell and the sky darkened. I didn’t have my wallet or my phone or any plan other than try to get hold of my temper and calm down. I was SO angry all the time now. I hated it. Now she’d made me cross that line and I hated that too. Did I hate her? I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t think so. I’d heard or read somewhere that the opposite of love wasn’t hate, but indifference and that seemed like a truer statement of where my head was. She could provoke me to anger, but that was situational. Mostly, I’d given up on caring about her antics.“Fuck, my life’s a mess,” I muttered to myself. Fortunately there was no one close enough to overhear. I put my head down and took stock of my options. I could survive in my car for the night and then go back to the house tomorrow after she went to work, but there was always the chance that she’d take the day off and wait for me. There was also the possibility that she’d report.
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