And this was all when you were just 14.The last 8 years have somehow managed to get worse and worse. Last year, you almost caught hypothermia when your family left the house, thinking you had decided to spend the holidays with your then-girlfriend of 5 years. What made this particularly bad was that your girlfriend dumped you, via fucking the Mall Santa, Barnaby Willows, a 30 something year old slob. Apparently, your girlfriend and Barnaby have been “seeing each other” since she hit puberty. At that point, you thought the worst would be over, but then your car dies 5 miles away from your house in the middle of a blizzard with no transportation. You had to walk hours in below freezing temperature, during which you didn’t have your jacket, leaving it behind during the shock of seeing your ex drool incoherently while her eyes rolled in the back of her head as Barnaby was slamming her from behind in the ass. The implications of this were worse than you expected when she told you firsthand. A very large gift wrapped box was on the ground at Sammy’s feet. Sammy, with a grunt, picked it up and extended it to Ed. “I want to thank you for what you did for me.”Accepting the heavy box with a shake of his head, he had to set it down. Ed said, “You didn’t need to do anything. I was happy that things ended up as well as they did.”Mrs. Burton replied, “You did a really wonderful thing for Sammy. He could have gotten the electric chair if you hadn’t been so calm. You kept him out of jail. We can’t thank you enough.”Wanting to change the subject, Ed said, “Please come in. I can’t wait to open the present.”Slightly uncomfortable, Linda Burton and her son entered the room. She looked at the desk sitting in the middle of the room and said, “Shirley really did find a nice desk for you.”Ed ran his fingers over the wood appreciating the smoothness of the wood. He answered, “Yes, she did. It’s almost too nice to use.”Almost dancing in place, Sammy looked impatient for Ed to open the.
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