But the pinch is worse on me because Buck can get by without me for one night, but I can’t get by without the money.”She walked to the couch and picked up her purse. “How much does this club owner owe you, my dear?” she asked.It was working. He thought quick. “Twenty bucks a night… five nights a week and twenty for last night.”She opened her purse and took out a roll of bills and handed them to him. “Please count out $120 for your services and consider that you are paid,” she paid.It was his turn to be petrified. He knew he looked stupid with the roll in his hand, but he did as he was told. The roll must have come to at least $800. He handed her the balance of it.“Paulette, I don’t know what to say.” He didn’t really. This was far better than the eighty he was hoping for and the dinner was yet to come.“Please don’t talk about it any more then,” she said. “It’s just as well.. Finally it hit me. What I had done? Who had I become? I started to sob and that’s how Barry found me when he got home. He was saying something. He didn’t touch me, but he was talking to me. ‘What’s the matter Grace? What is it?’ His tone was not comforting, it was more like he was annoyed. I suppose I had earned that. It was hard to talk. I was having trouble catching my breath. ‘I’m, I’m sorry Barry.’ No response. I had to catch my breath before I could continue. ‘I’m sorry about what I did. I’m sorry I hurt you. I was wrong. I was wrong about everything. I was so self-centered I couldn’t even see how selfish I was.’ ‘I thought it was my fault.’ ‘I deserve that. Truth is I blamed everybody but me. I learned something from,’ would I be betraying Linda’s friendship with Barry or giving her credit for my transformation, ‘all of this. I learned I haven’t loved you the right way, the way where I think about what would make you happy, not just me. I’ve been a terrible wife to you. I.
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