"A smock like that is just so handyfor keeping all sorts of things around you - and anyway, I'm wearingmine!"Can you imagine the feelings that cross your mind when a woman guestexclaims upon how nice you look when you come into a room, then gets upalittle later from where she's sitting VERY close to your wife and comesover to where you sit - beside a similarly dressed woman - in your curledhair and a little makeup, doing embroidery? With a false smile, commentson what you're doing, then fondles your Peter Pan, satin, lapels and sayswhat a wonderful idea a smock is. Compliments Si on how lucky she is tohave a husband like me as she returns.In our bedroom that night, Si had a sort of dreamy expression on herface, Helped me off with my smock. "Have to ask you Joan. Don't you findthat Mary SO dreamy? I can't see why you and she didn't get together whenyou were in the business.." Uh? Dreamy? But I'm married to YOU!" I said pointedly. "And my name isJohn!" That's just being old fashioned,". They destroyed everything that stood in their way. They were like children. If they do not get their way in all things, they become violent. The day they arrived, we were all afraid of them, I can still hear my mother saying to me 'Hans I must hide you. God only knows what they will do to the children.'" There had been many stories. Many. I thought that the Russians would eat the children. I think that perhaps my mother thought so, too. So, she did hide me. In the basement. I remember that I was so fearful of the dark, very much afraid. I think I may have cried myself to sleep. I do not remember. I do remember one night hearing my mother scream, amidst the noise of shouts that I did not understand and door slamming and rifle butts against the walls of the house. Then, my mother she screamed again, loudly, making a sound that I did not know any woman or man could make." I crawled up from the basement, from my hiding place, and looked through the door. I saw my mother being raped, I.
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