I think Dan just likes me to looknice, but this is all so new to me, I feel uncomfortable. I still feelthis is not right somehow."I saw the women glance at each other, as I responded. I knew they weresurprised at my voice, as I had used my actual tone without consciouslymaking it sound deeper. I had practiced using the lowest register of myvoice for almost my entire adult life, beginning right after puberty. Ithad taken a lot of effort to train myself to speak that way and I wasable to sound gruff. I thought it made me more masculine. Since Dani hadput me in a bra, I had abandoned that pretense. Surprisingly, it had beeneasier than I expected to revert to the high, lilting tone that wasnatural for my voice. The way I sounded now was appropriate for the wayDani dressed me, so although it was a bit embarrassing in front of thewomen, I knew it was just the way I really was. Just like my breastcondition. As I finished speaking, they all smiled at me, but were kindenough not to openly. “Hi, Steve. You don’t sound good.”“I was taking a nap, Joyce. I’m sorry.”“Oh, did I wake you?”“Yes, but it’s OK, I want to talk to you!”“If you’re sure. We can talk later if you want.”“Now is fine.”“OK.” I heard her take a deep breath, and she continued, “I’ve thought a lot this week about what I want and what I should do, and I’ve changed my mind at least three times. My feelings for you haven’t changed, but there are so many issues. I was pretty hard on you at Grandfather’s house, but I think I needed to be. Any kind of relationship with you is risky.”“Aren’t all relationships risky? Isn’t that part of what makes them exciting?”“I guess. It’s just that I have a really tough time dealing with who you are at this point in your life, though I guess you’ve changed somewhat in your year away.”“I have. But I’ll be honest; I’m not looking for a committed relationship. I know that you are and that creates an inherent conflict between us. At a minimum, we need to figure out where we are and.
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