PMS - really freaking funny, isn't it? LOOK at that zit!!! I mean for God's sake, it's bigger than Mt. St. Helens, and will probably blow just like it, too.Don't even TALK to me about concealer, okay? Like, don't even go there. I can't wear makeup - X-ray and Heat Vision are HELL on mascara. Nothing will hide this thing anyway, except a bag over my head. I wish I could just stay home. That's it, just stay home with a quart of Ben and Jerry's, and hide for four days, and then come out again when it's over. But I'm just too horny and this guy is HUGE - I mean, he's big and strong and HUGE - and I really need something huge!I'm not hideous, right? I don't scare little kids, and I don't break mirrors, but I can't get lucky to save my life, and I'm pretty damned frustrated right now.My first date? Middle school - the Winter Dance. I got all dressed up, and I got in the backseat of Mr. Carver's Buick with Fred Carver. What does the weasel do? Grab my tit. I grabbed his hand and broke all. Mann look afterus like a mother.So much for my early life.When I became nine years of age, Mr. Bumble duly collected me and tookme to the main workhouse. If I thought that life under Mrs. Mann washarsh, things got a lot worse under the tender mercies of Mrs. Corney.We slept on the floor, our beds nothing but mouldy hay. All day wepicked oakum. We were fed on scraps that seemed to get less and less aseach day passed. I was at the workhouse for six months before there wasa feeling of rebellion amongst the inmates of that terrible place.It was decided that one of us must ask for more food. The generalfeeling was that it was obvious that the board were not aware that aftereating the meagre fare, we were still so very hungry.You must understand that at the tender age of nine. I was underweight,malnourished, weak and constantly tired.Do not think that I was alone in this pitiable state. All the childrenwere in the same way.Whilst the Board, matron and master managed to eat the finest of.
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