"Would you please tell me what the heck am I wearing?" Frederick's of Hollywood bra style number five-zero-eight-zero-eight," Shaun said, dusting off as I let go and looked at her confusingly. "The Hollywood Kiss Lace Bra. You'll have to get used to the itching."Re-adjusting the piece of lingerie didn't help any. I wondered if this was a normal thing. "Well this lace-kiss...whatever is killing me. This isn't funny!"Shaun calmly covered her mouth and subsided her laughing as I scolded her. "I'm sorry," she giggled. "It's not that." Then what is it?" I just never thought I'd be teaching my brother about his first bra!" My sister fell out laughing. Apparently though, she wasn't the only one who'd found her joke funny. Ethan, who was over at my TV playing Madden 2002, dropped his controller and started laughing. He'd surrendered the Ravens' first touchdown to Miami on the play.I stared at myself in the mirror for I don't know how long as Shaunvenique went through her closet. She was. "It was Maria."Charlize Jones?" I asked."Half Charlize Theron, half Catherine Zeta Jones," Mariaexplained."How many women do you know named "Charlize?" I asked her."Wait a few years," she said, "their number will go up. There are probably millions of five-year-olds already."I wasn't much for telephone conversations. Not even romantic ones.Maria was, though."What are you wearing?" she asked, a smile in her voice."What am I wearing? --Is this an obscene phone call?" Could be," she said. "You want to know what I'm wearing?" I know you're going to tell me," I said."I'm wearing a blue polka-dot dress with a white collar," she said. "And white shoes, with ankle straps." Oh. OK." I had expected her to tell me she was wearing Chanel Number 5, or perhaps some other, updated variation on the old Marilyn Monroe tease-line."But -- you're not wearing any underwear, right?" I said."What? Well, of course I'm wearing underwear!" Oh. So -- why did you bring this up?" I asked."I didn't bring it up. I.
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