"Cautio, imbibo sensim" he told me. "Regius vestry vires primoris!"He wanted me to drink cautiously, and to regain my strength, first."Ego mos operor ut vos narro."I told him I would follow his directions.It was at that moment that I realized again something strange and terrifying had happened to me. I realized I was conversing in Latin with whomever it was that was attending to me. I also recognized that this Latin was not the same as the Latin that Father Rupert had taught me, though it was similar. It seemed richer and fuller than any I had ever heard. As I listened to others nearby, I understood all they were saying. But all of them were conversing in Latin. Not one word did I hear, of my native English."Tell me what happened, and where am I?"My Latin was good, as I practiced all the time reading and writing from the Bible in Father Rupert's rectory. He had coached me for many hours, and I was a good student."You were at your post, keeping the rabble back when a stone, or rather a. This time I would do it in my home. Slit my wrist. BUT — the television was advertising a new show — The John Larroquette Show. This was right after Night Court went off the air. He was the manager of a bus depot. He was a recovering alcoholic. He kept saying, ‘If I can make it through tonight without a drink…’ Well I decided I would wait to kill myself until after I watched that show. It worked and I got several things done. I had everything ready to kill myself at the end of that show. BUT — 30 minutes later they were going to have another episode of the show. SO – – ‘I can want to kill myself until after that show is over,’ I thought. It worked. That night I told myself I could sleep for a while and if I woke up still feeling as bad as I did then, I would kill myself. Eventually, I worked up to a week at a time. Then a month at a time. I do slip. There have been times when I will say, ‘I will wait 15 minutes and if I still feel this bad, then I will do it.’ I should point out.
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