‘I would like to introduce her to you all,’ she said, pausing for effect. ‘…Her name is Backdoor Betty.’ As Betty lifted up the heavy cloth, she was assaulted with thundering applause. She looked about her in confusion and surprise, trying her best to balance herself in her high heels. She felt dozens of eyes upon her, ogling her figure with blatant prurience, and quickly thereafter a cloud of indecent comments roared at her from every angle. ‘Jesus in heaven, look at the ass on that tart!’ yelled a portly man with severe rosacea, who roughly squeezed her bottom as she passed by him. Another man let out an odorous belch and smacked her other buttock, mumbling profanities she scarcely even recognized. She walked about the bar, allowing each man to get a good look at her while Eugenia spoke. ‘Backdoor Betty’s specialty is taking it up the rear, of course. And what a fine rear it is, isn’t it? What do you think, men?’ The men all cheered in agreement as Betty awkwardly moved about,. I stumbled home, shed my clothes, and quickly fell asleep. Some time later, someone shook my shoulder and called my name. "Jeff, Jeff, wake up, wake up!" I opened my eyes and saw Tina standing over me. "You need to come help me get Kris home," she insisted. "She's really drunk and she needs your help to get home." I came out of my alcoholic fog and slid out of bed, forgetting that I sleep nude. Tina took a step back when I stood up and faced her...weaving a bit. "Guess I need to get dressed, I mumbled. Tina shook her head. "Here let me help you." She found my pants and a pair of house slippers and helped me get my legs into the pants while I sat on the edge of the bed. "That's all you'll need," she assured me. "Let's go get Kris." Tina and I walked across the yards and up to their family room door together. She reached for the doorknob and stopped. "Oh shit, Jon, you son-of-a-bitch!" she cursed as she looked through the door's little glass pane. Curious, I pushed Tina aside enough to.
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