===== I have thought a great deal, a very great deal, about what went wrong, searching for the headwaters of my deluvial apocalypse. I have always made choices. For as long as I can remember, I have chosen my life. At least I thought I had. I certainly do not think I would have chosen my present circumstances, yet somehow I did. Here I am. There was one moment, on one day, on a subway platform, in which my life seemed to fall off the rails, yet I know now that that moment was neither the beginning nor the end of my undoing. Everything fits together in a strange way. When I look for my first mistake, I always begin on that subway platform. I play the events of my life step by step, day by day, year by year forward and backward from there, yet I can find no fault, no sin of which I can accuse myself. I cannot remember the day that I was born. Perhaps it happened then. In any case, I feel certain, as one might consider fitting, that my deepest, darkest descent into despair and madness,. The restaurant staff seemed to understand these things and made sure he had a soft drink.I saw Terry first, and he was accompanied by a very pretty woman who looked only a few years older than Terry. There was a slight resemblance there, but Terry must have taken mostly after his father.“Terry, glad you could come. And I thought you were bringing your mother, not your sister. Still, family of Terry’s is always welcome!” I said jovially, shaking his hand and bending just a bit to place a kiss on the back of hers.I noticed that she was giving me the eye at first, then she smiled brightly and shook her head.“He told me not to underestimate you, Mister McCoy.” she said, taking the chair that Terry was holding for her.“Jack, please allow me to introduce my mother, Gwendolyn Analise Alcott. Mom, this is Jack McCoy and his lovely lady, Camille Raimond.” Terry said, giving a little bow Cam’s way.We exchanged hellos and I apologized to Cam. She had heard about, even talked on the phone once.
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