She was wearing a light sundress with a thin, flowery patterned shawl over her shoulders. She looked really nice but what she hadn’t noticed was that one strap of the dress had slipped down and her right breast was on full show. I’m not sure how many of patrons of bar noticed but Hazel told us later that one guy, who was in the lift when she got in obviously had. He asked her if she was going to a party, adding that if she was, he wished he was going with her. She told us she still didn’t know that her tit was hanging out and it was only when the receptionist went over and pointed it out to her that she realised that she’d given the guy a good eyeful. Once she’d made her presentable again we went to the steakhouse and had a nice meal. It was the next morning when we were checking out that I saw that the same woman was on duty at the desk and thanked her for the previous night that she came out with a comment that we still laugh about today, five years later. “Oh that’s okay,” she. It was dog-eat-dog where the strong survived and the weak succumbed and the result was a culture that worked. Those with a skill or a talent or some degree of knowledge that could be bartered into something better were the winners. The weak or the ignorant looked to those others for their survival, often at the cost of something more precious; their dignity.I was one of the more fortunate and I had learned to take advantage when it was to my benefit. Compassion was not a survival emotion in prison and my compassion had been suppressed for a long time. My work at the clinic was slowly reviving that forgotten emotion and I was trying very hard to remember. But, this is how my mind was functioning now and would dictate my actions toward Nan as this first meeting progressed. I know that sounds cold and distant, but my reality for five years, six months and three days was an eight by twelve foot cell. My return to civilized behavior was not that easily accomplished for someone who lived.
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