”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I’ll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found. So to tease her and to make my penis erect, I kept my penis on her pussy and was tickling her. She started begging me to insert it into her cunt. I kissed her and licked her nipples and made an action as how we drink milk. She made me lie down and pressed her boobs in my mouth and asked me to suck. Her tits were that of an 18yr old and her boobs were pointed upwards. It was really so sexy to bite her nipples and suck it. It made me hard and I made her lie and took both her legs upwards and applied some saliva and some coconut oil in her ass. I tried pushing it inside, but found out that it was so tight. I kept trying it little by little and inserted half of my penis. She started crying so loudly and I was about to stop, but she thrust her body downwards into my penis. I knew she licked the pain and pulled it back and pushed it in one go. We both cried in pain and there was blood oozing out from her ass. We kept it for some moment and started pumping. Our pain had subdued and we.
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