Alaska was uneventful until the last house. There the owners had left five dozen fresh baked sugar cookies in the kitchen, which by now were thoroughly cooled. As a special present, my jolly elf and Christmas lover iced them all with the special sugar from his special candy cane and left them for our hosts to enjoy. I will never look at another Christmas cookie the same way again. We jumped back in the sleigh and headed north rather than back south towards my home. “Santa,” I asked. “Aren’t we going back to take me home. My kids will be getting up soon.” “Debbie dear, time is frozen. We have to go get the toys for your kids. They are at the North Pole in my workshop.” So off we go, past the northern lights, until we reached a large flat sheet of ice at the top of the world. As we got nearer, a large section of the ice opened up and we flew straight down into it, right into the center of North Pole Village. As we landed we were instantly surrounded by hundreds of cheering elves. One. "Glurg nodded.She thought a moment. "If there was someplace with a thicker mat that would be nice. Are there thicker mats downstairs?" No! I mean Yes, but not for you." Why was he feeling all tongue-tied? "It is heresy enough to have you inside the temple at all. You may not go further within." Well, OK."Glurg waved his hand, encouraging the girl to continue, but she was staring off into space. "Show me," he finally said."You really don't know how a man fertilizes a woman?" I know things you can only dream of!" he said, trying to keep his dignity."OK, OK," she said, thoughtfully. "Well, you know, I really am a virgin. The Sacrifice Selection Committee got that part right. So I'm kinda going on what I've seen. Like peeking in on my mother and father sometimes. I hope the Sun God isn't too mad at me about that?" No, that is of no concern to the Sun God," said Glurg, happy to have the conversation touch on an area of his expertise."OK, well, I pull up my dress and pull down my.
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