And he couldn't wait to see what Silas had made for their homecoming dinner. Well, his homecoming dinner. "Okay, Nick, I won't argue with you and try to talk you out of it. I'll tell everyone back home you had to find yourself. I won't tell them you have rabies and will be foaming at the mouth like last week when Jarrod, at the dinner table busted your balls about you having to geld that $2,000.00 stallion because he threw you, busted your goober and embarrassed you in front of the entire bunkhouse." Give me your word, smart ass, I mean bastard, I mean Heath." You got it, 1/2."------------The End------------This spoof is most respectively dedicated to what I heartily believe is the finest episode in "The Big Valley" ABC network run 1965-1969: "Night of the Wolf."Nick Barkley is bitten by a rabid wolf and does leave home and hearth to suffer and die alone as all people died in that circa when rabies was incurable.Toward the end of the episode Jarrod Barkley implores his brother Heath. I ain't gonna turn him in, soz he kin keep hidin' in the barn fer now. Since Martha cooks in the kitchen in the house, she kin bring out food ta him when she brings out yer's. What's the nigger's name? It ain't important, but I would like ta know." His name is Josiah. He'll shore be glad ya're gonna he'p him." Ya tell him ta relax, an' we'll work sumpthin' out. I do want ta talk ta him, later."I didn't have any idee what ta do 'bout Josiah, 'cept I knew that I wuzn't gonna let him be sent back ta a bastard what treated his slaves that way. I decided ta tell Jane an' Inez 'bout Josiah an' see ifen they had any good idees.Jane didn't have much ta offer, but Inez said, "Why don't ya clean up a section of the barn an' use it ta make yer sausage. Ya kin use Josiah ta he'p ya with that. It ain't so complicated that he couldn't learn how ta grind the meat an' mix the recipe afore it's cooked. Ya kin fix him a place ta sleep in the barn loft, at least 'til it gits too cold. That way, he'd.
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