Our house was fairly big and a lot of relatives used to stay at our place whenever they were in the city.One weekend aunt and uncle came to stay over, I was happy as she was a good cook as well and I was sure she would make some good food. Never really thought if anything sexual as this was our house and I really dint think anything would happen.They arrived and the usual pleasantries were shared and they settled into the guest bedroom and as evening was approaching everyone sat in the hall and was watching tv and deciding what to do and where to goto over the weekend.I got a call from my friend and I just walked out of the room and slowly up the stairs to the terrace. Was talking to her for about 20mins when suddenly I heard a voice calling me, I turned around to see it was my aunt and she came searching for me to call me for dinner. I told her give me 2 mins il be down. She walked towards me with a smile and mouthed the words ‘girlfriend’ in a questioning way. I told her no just a. Bloodymaleness. Can't even have a little catharsis from crying.Lorries, Busses, maybe pills. A few possibilities. The latter would beless violent, not as bad for those getting involved once I'm dead. AndLorries and Busses had the same effect as trains. I just couldn't moveand go through with it. Some pills. Lots. And alcohol. And not wakingup. Sounds relieving. My sister Catherine wanted to check on me Fridayafternoon.I decided Friday night will be the night I end my life. I bought allkinds of pills which had a reputation for being contradictive withalcohol. Probably with each other as well. Just have to make sure I'mnot going to throw up. I also have some sleeping pills I nicked agesago from my mumI met with Catherine at the Starbucks at the midsummer place at thecentre. She told me how worried she and mum are. But I didn't listen.My mind was already back home. I would detour my way home and take meto the Asda in Bletchley and get something strong from the spiritsaisle. When.
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