"That's so your hair won't be dripping all over the place when you goupstairs to take the bath Corina started for you. Now I'm going to stepoutside so you can get the rest of your muddy clothes off. Just tosseverything into the washer, including your sneakers. Then wrap a towelaround yourself and I'll show you where the bathroom is." She walkedout, closing the door behind her.I felt a little nervous about taking all my clothes off in a stranger'shome, but the mud that had soaked into my pants was starting to feelitchy. I shivered as I stripped off the rest of my damp clothes andthrew them into the washer. Then I took the towel that had been drapedover my shoulders and wrapped it around my waist. But it was a bit toobig and wound up dragging on the ground. As I stepped out the laundryroom, I tripped on the towel and barely caught it before it slipped offmy hips. Fortunately, Aunt Joan was there to catch me as I started tofall. "Hold on," she said as she put me back on my feet. "You're. Just go with it.I thought that if I showed them I was willing to follow their directions, thenI might be allowed more freedom. Maybe even to begin that road to surgery. Itwas going to be fun to go to school as a girl. There were other problems, butI would let them handle it. Just listen, do what they say, and they'll helpyou where you need it the most. Saying goodbye to my grandfather and seeingthe hurt in his eyes and in my aunts was nearly unbearable. I loved themon a scale that only Canary could even come close.Here I would meet some people that had tried to kill themselves. I wishI could have met someone like me there. But here I would meet kids thatunderstood suicide and depression. Their reasons were different, but Ibegan to realize one fact of life. Namely that it sucked. Inside of a drawer in my room someone had written the lyrics of Metallica's 'Welcome Home'. Here, contrasting the tan wood, were written in blacktwo things that drew my mind like a magnet. Sanitarium, just.
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