It’s too easy, too predictable, and simple things that I want—to eat a restaurant that I choose, to stay in instead of going out, to choose the movie, to choose my clothes, to do it doggy-style, to do it in the living room instead of the bedroom, on the sofa, in the car—I go without. From the outside, I look like I have it all. But you know as well as I do, my blog followers, that on the inside, I’m a hallow shell of the person I long to be. I ask myself the same three questions multiple times a day, every day; Can’t I have just a little bit of excitement? Can’t I find my voice? Can’t I get a little in the backdoor? And with no answers in sight, here I sit, webbed in yet another day of my fucked up life. I had heard it all before. I nodded and worked to keep my eyes from rolling with frustrated disgust. “So, you see here … you’re Ph balance is out-a-whack.” Just fix it, you old fuck, I said to myself. “Can you fix it?” I kindly requested. “Yep … that’s what your husband pays me. "Keep the doors open, Nigel."With a nervous nod, the young man went to the elevator buttons andflicked a switch as Maude jiggled flirtatiously over to Jake. One handshook the ex-Marine's offered hand while her other openly rubbed at hischest as she looked up at him."Mmmm...feels like I'm rubbing an iron plate," Maude gushed. "I envywhoever earns a taste of your stainless steel rod down there," She gaveJake's groin a squeeze in emphasis of her words.Jake just stared, somewhat incredulously, down at the platinum-hairedcougar feeling him up. Maude's head turned to Harriet. "I don't suppose Icould borrow this..." NO," Harriet firmly interjected. "I was just gonna show him the gym, an'have him meet Harve."Maude amusedly shrugged as she stepped back into the elevator. "Can't sayI didn't try. See you later, sweetie." Her eyes switched to Jake. "Niceto meet you, hot cocoa," They then went to Nigel. "Up."Once the elevator doors slid shut, Jake shook his head and sighed.Hearing the word.
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