When he felt my arm over him, he jumped and sat forward on the bed. He turned his face to look at me with a mixture of puzzlement and fear that held me transfixed as we stared at each other.“Look, I said I’m not.….” he hesitated, “I’m not really gay.….. it’s just….”I interrupted him, “How can you not REALLY be gay?” I said, using quotation-marks in the air with my fingers. “I just made a pass at you and you’re still sitting here.” I raised my eye-brows and gave him my best “You’ve been rumbled” look. Then I raised my arm in surrender and said, “I promise I won’t do anything, if you don’t like it but why don’t we just sit and watch the film? You know you’d like to. Just relax!”Rather nervously he eventually admitted that he supposed he was gay but that his family was very religious and he had never let on, to them or anyone. He had had sex with his girl-friend and tried to convince himself he was “normal”; so apart from a fumble or two with a mate when they were both 15, he hadn’t. He looked out his window as the aircraft descended; his heart filled with hope. Hope that she would accept his love.What can I do to make you love me?What can I do to make you care?What can I say to make you feel this?What can I do to get you there?She stared restlessly at the list of arrivals, impatient for his plane to land. She sat down again, her hands clenched. She made her decision. She would tell him today. No more waiting. She had kept it to herself for too long.She remembered the day they met in middle school. She had been a shy and reclusive person, glued to her textbooks while he had been the popular basketball player.They struck up a strange friendship and remained friends all through high school and college. It was in college that things started to change. She began to become more aware of his lean body, handsome face and innate gentleness. Her heart quickened every time he touched her and she started to feel jealous of the girls he dated.She started making an extra.
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