" You'd look good in a dress, I bet. Just likeyour fairy friend."Jerome smiled even more broadly. He patted me on the butt and walkedaway. Fine. Walk away. Damn it, this isn't my life. Yes, I'm a smallerguy. Big deal. We all aren't NFL players! So my hair is a little long.Kelly likes it like this. It doesn't mean that I was going to changelike, well, like Patrick had changed.And yet, maybe.True, I'd always sensed an ambivalence in me. An unspoken desire to becontrolled, to please. I guess it had always been there, through my voicelessons and my stamp-collecting. When I was a teen-ager, the footballplayers in my class called me gay. I wasn't. But maybe I was the nextdoor over?"Matty?" Kelly said. "do you know what the worst kind of sissy is? It'sone who won't admit she is one. One who is so afraid of what people willthink that she says no to her desires. Janice and I talk a lot, Matty.She told me the components of a sissy. She was describing you. You knowit."I shook my head. Not me.. Brody commented on the houses sitting so close to the street, and when Ryan noted it cut down on lawn work, he had to agree. "Aren't you cold?" Ryan zipped up her coat and jammed her hands in her pockets. "It's got to be in the forties tonight, or at least it feels like it." "Nope. In Michigan, this would be downright balmy." He wore a Capitals' sweatshirt over a t-shirt and the weather felt fine to him. She laughed. "I knew a guy in college who wore shorts and went barefoot all year. In snow he'd wear sneakers, but no socks. Not sure if he was from Michigan, though." "Oh, I never minded the snow. If there was snow, there was likely ice, so I was good." He paused. "I have to tell you, I was shocked my first winter here and how people panicked. I mean, three inches and they're delaying school openings? God, I can't tell how much snow I would have needed for a snow day." Ryan laughed. "I know. My mom's from upstate New York and she complains every winter. She's always out with the SUV.
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