What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times, some nights my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take some leave to sort herself out. Susan begged me to be kinder to Amanda and ended her email by adding that she really believed that Amanda thought what she was doing was for both our benefits and begged me to call Amanda for a chat if I still cared about her to help her through her depression.That evening I sat down and composed a long email in which I explained all my feelings, the betrayal, the sickness in my stomach and how I hated her and myself for letting it happen, I reminded her how I had accepted the. Then i set you down and you say "what are you doing here" with a big smile and i tell you im here for a friend but i was really hoping to see you and i ask you if you want to hang out later and you say " yeah come over to my house around 7" and i say ok and you give me a big hug and then give me a quick kiss and smiled and started walking off. then 7 came around and i knock on your door and no one answers so i knock again and you open the door and my mouth just drops. your wearing a really short skirt a tank top and stockings and say come on in so i come in and you say your parents arent home. and we sit down on the couch and start watching tv and talking and then you go off to the bathroom and while your gone im trying to hide the really huge boner i got and you walk back and i dont see you and you are watching me and then you say " you dont have to hide that" and i look over really fast and your standing there without your shirt on and im staring at your bare tits. and you walk.
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