A meri pahli kahani hai aur ha sachi bhi hai mano ya na mano per sachi hai,sabhi chut aur land ko mera salam.mai sahar se dur form house me rahata hu meri famile me six log hai,mai sabse chota hu,meri do sister aur ek bhai hai dono sister badi hai ,mai jab chota tha tabse mai meri badi didi ko dekhta tha, wo top less thi eur uske boob bade bade the 32 ke honge tab wo 1st year me thi,aur tab se mai usko dekhta tha uski gaand etni mast thi kia batuo ,mai didi ko yad karke muth marta tha aur mai soch rakha tha ki usko ek din mai jarur chodu ga ,per kabhi muoka nahi mila use mai hamesha khurna aur uske boob dekhta aur ek din uski sadi hogai,didi ke sadi ke 4 mahine bad mere ghar wale kisi ke sadi ke lia sab log ek haft ke lia bahar gaye the aur mai akela ghar me tha islia didi ghar aagai to per ghar wale chale gaye, maine soch ab ek haft me mai didi ko kisi bhi halat me choduga aur mai ne plan banaya , sabere jab mai nahane gaya to maine janbuch kar kapde nahi legia aur nahane ke bad. Fear of the pain? No…more accurately described as fear of failure. What kind of mother will I be? Hands explore a surface so hard and round and promising, feeling that pulse of life within, wishing I could look like this forever and have someone to whisper to. And then the pain came, and I wonder why I was not in fear of it. Pain like a river, a waterfall, an earthquake…pain like a volcanic eruption that makes me scream and scream and scream. So much pain to deliver a life so small. Giving birth was perhaps the most painful and colorful moment of my life, the ripping of a soul that I’m not even sure exists. It tore from me like the wing of bird, disabling my flight through the azure dawn of existence. I felt that when I was crying my tears were made of glass because they hurt as they came out razor edges carving bloody scars down my cheeks dropping like bullets onto my heaving chest, dividing lines around my heart, stilling my flowing stream of consciousness into a stagnant pool of.
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