That way we can use all the rest for charter jobs."I told her, "You should tell this to Chuck, but I'll mention it when I see him later. He's been busy lately, and I know it's hard to talk to him when he isn't here, but catch him when you can. He acts on things quickly if it is for the benefit of the company."Betty was standing at her schedule board and she smiled when she saw me, "Isn't it great? Every pilot we have is on a charter or giving lessons today. Even with the high price for student time in one of the cheaper helicopters, we are booked solid. Even "Big Bird" is busy almost everyday." That's really great, Betty. Joy was just lobbying for some more training helicopters. I suppose we should look into it."Betty was grinning and as I left, said, "Get 'em, Steve, we'll rent 'em."DeDe was now fully healed from her mishap and was working the office, giving lessons, and flying charters when needed. She was working at the desk with a young lady when I came in. DeDe looked up and. But my psyche is. I feellost. I feel bad.It got worse in the last couple of weeks. And I think I reached anunbearable point of that pain. I'm at that point where I realized thatI took a turn into a dead-end road and was nearing the end of it. Ihaven't considered yet how I would do it. But it seemed the bestsolution. I guess. Sure, it doesn't help. But it will stop the pain.You see, I'm transgender. I found out when I was 8 years old. We wereshopping in a wholesale market in Munich. They had everything. Iremember we, my parents, my brother and me, went to the nonfooddepartment, jewelry to be precise. I can't remember why. My parentswere looking at something while my brother and I waited bored next tothe shopping cart. There were earrings. I looked at them. They werepretty. And there were so many. Stars, moons, dolphins. So many. Andthey sparkled. So nice. I wanted some. I started choosing. But Icouldn't decide. And I started regretting that I wasn't born a girl."What??" Did I really.
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