But even when I mention it, it gets denied. I blame it on lack of time but have always been fearful that it will end the same way for me. Finally getting a photo together and seeing that same unloving fake smile in your eyes as I did his.Now when I leave you, I do not cry. It's easy for me to get in my car and race away. Thinking how stupid I was for expecting anything at all from you. Blaming myself for being in the wrong mindset for the encounter. Having the wrong personality for the meeting. If I go into each date thinking we are only friends, then I am never disappointed. However, if I expect sex and love and dreams, then I am always disappointed.I dream of you taking control for once in your life, of your life. You running to me, wanting me, and actually taking me. Letting me see you be emotional and horny. Telling me exactly what you want me to do with you and making me scream. Not making love. Fucking. Hard. Coming fast because you just lose control. Absolutely beautiful. .How did you make a one?God damn it. I didn't know how to write. Apparently trolls are fuckingilliterate. So now I was, too. Shit, did that mean it wasn't justnerves? Did this game actually fuck with my ability to do math? Weretrolls that stupid in this setting?This just keeps sucking harder.I plopped on to my bony troll ass, stupid cow boobs almost hitting me inmy stupid drooling troll face as they bounced. I was at a loss. I satthere numbly for some time, staring as the swamp around me turned orangeand then red in the dying light. Cicadas gave way to locusts andfireflies.It was an interesting atmosphere, at least. The chirrup of the cricketswas oddly soothing. The fireflies and swamp lights were quite beautifulin the gathering dark. Soothing.Emotionally exhausted, I dozed off.-----I awoke in fits and starts, never sleeping for more than moments at atime despite my efforts. Every time I tossed or turned I'd roll over onto my tits, or my now longer hair would get pinched between my.
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