." I paused, "but I'd like to show off my lovely girls ... what about a look round the Tide Mill, then it's a short walk to the Station Café for coffee. I don't think there's anything we need..."Emily shook her head. "We're fine for a few days ... I've never seen the Tide Mill, not inside, anyway." What's a Tide Mill?" Asked Hazel."You know how a water mill works, right?"She nodded."Well, a Tide Mill has a pond that collects water at high tide, then the miller uses the water to drive a wheel once the tide has gone out. There used to be many of them, but there are only one or two left. I think the Woodbridge one is the only one that still works." Okay ... sounds sort of interesting. Just one question..." Go on?" Can I put some clothes on?"Emily stifled a giggle while I pretended to think about it. "I'm not sure. It'd be a real pity to cover all that pulchritude."I don't think she knew what the word meant; she looked a bit put out, but Emily whispered in her ear and her expression. "I got it here somewhere. I never heard of no ass tax before." It's a new government program, designed to reduce bureaucratic inefficiency as a result of the Hmmhmm-Frmmhmmhmm Act," I said as she let me into the house."Whatever," she said as I followed her back toward the kitchen of her cheap, untidy apartment.Her place, and its occupant, were perfect examples of Jerry Springer America--the apartment dominated by a TV, food plates sitting straight on the roughly upholstered couch, beer cans and one of the Left Behind novels visible just under it. While she--how may I describe her loveliness? Fat ass in a too-tight pair of white shorts leading down think trunk-like thighs to bare feet, sloping breasts hanging low over a broad belly under a Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt, stringy bottle-blonde hair and sunken eyes bespeaking little intelligence but, I sensed, enormous primitive enthusiasm in bed."Here it is," she said, holding my own crudely computer-generated document at me. "Are you sure.
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