When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary guy” he said to her “but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million”. Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at financial planning than men.What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Cracker with cheese.“Dad is it better to pass or fail?” “To pass of course” “Oh good you’ll be proud of me! I passed my pregnancy test”Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down their local bar, when one said to the other “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?” “Yeah, sure thing” replied his friend “fire away”. “Well” said the first. "What the heck? What is going on?" I could not believe my eyes. There stood Lexi, all bubbly and happy and just as gorgeous as the day we first met. How could this be? I felt your blood splattering on me as you died. Yet, there you stood...smiling...tears streaming down your face. In front of a small group of regulars and your staff, you walked around the counter and gingerly kissed my cheek as tears welled up in your eyes. "I don't know how to thank you for saving my life. No words can ever express my feelings. If you hadn't stepped in front of the bullet, I wouldn't be here. If you had been even five minutes leter..." you stopped, too choked up to continue. "What do you mean Lexi? I asked, puzzled by your words. "You don't remember? You... you don't remember anything do you?" you said, searching my eyes through the tears in your own. "I don't guess I do Lexi. Please, tell me what happened." "You had just walked into my shop and introduced yourself to me. As we made small talk about.
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