I usually don’t drink alcohol when I go out because I don’t want to risk an accident or a ticket, but these friends insisted, so I had a beer with my meal. Problem is, one beer usually leads to two beers, then three. I was able to get out of there before that happened, but my taste buds had been activated, and they wanted more beer. So I stopped at a convenience store to pick up a six-pack.The minute I got out of the car I was approached by a kid. I was instantly suspicious because this convenience store is a notorious hangout for homeless guys wanting to bum money for alcohol and cigarettes. I don’t mind helping people when they’re down on their luck, but these guys made the streets their lifestyle and I had little sympathy for them.My suspicions were unwarranted because as the kid got closer, I could see he was wearing a vest with the store’s logo on it. He worked here.“Excuse me sir, I hate to bother you,” he began, “but I wondered if you could help me out. I need a jump.”Funny he. .. didn't do a damn thing for the broken left wing. When I was 59 and stepping out of airplanes to places I didn't go, never been, and didn't do nasty things to people I'd never met or seen, I was always thinking I could take on the world single handed. I got my chance at the ripe old age of 14 in the lobby of the Paulina Stearns Hospital."Honest, officer. I didn't start it." Well ... the only way you could take Billy Badass (True facts: Badass is an Odaawaa name. It's not spelled like that but that's how it sounds.) out is to sucker punch him, unless you have steel rods in that cast."He wasn't taking my word for it and he couldn't cuff me but he was trying when daddy came in the lobby door. After one glance at my bruised eye, the wreck on the floor and the officer trying to find a way to get the cuffs on, Daddy said, "I am the attorney of record of that young man. I need your name and badge number."He turned to me and said, "David, you owe me a dollar." We already know how I feel.
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