He said thetears of a woman are like diamonds. A man has to dry them with kisses andkeep those gems in his heart, to give them back to her through thesweetest kisses. I fully belonged to Mustapha now. He had fertilized mewith his virility and made me pregnant with his love. His love was mybaby. He was in me, and I was his temple. He ruled me like the absoluteMaster.Six months into our relationship, I decided it was time for me to undergoa procedure which, as Najib said, was to be a woman's initiative. Onenight, I told Mustapha I wanted to dedicate my centre of femininity (mynavel) to him. The Macaon shop sold these belly-button piercing jewelsthat could be fitted with a miniature photo. I was going to get one withhis photo inserted in the main stud. As per Najib's regulations, when awoman made such pledge to a man, he could ask her to opt for a simplerjewel that would represent a symbol of femininity, or simply accept thepledge. Mustapha understood how important this dedication was. For a few seconds, I stayed silent as my mind panicked. All sorts of emotions percolated every cell in my head, ‘tell her, admit it, own up, say you crossdress and have done so for years and you love it, and try not to get too emotional and cry, but do it, do it do it!’Well, I did. “Sarah. I am a crossdresser. I have done it for years and no one knows. It’s been my lonely secret. Can we talk about it?”Sarah was wonderful and very understanding. She told me that she did suspect as the conversation was very revealing. She knew how hard it was to come out and say it. “Be proud that not only do you dress but that you have admitted it to me,” Sarah said supportively. “It’s ok, really it is. You are not alone. There are many people who do the same.” She told me that I had to pick a girly name for myself as that was what ‘we’ do. I started thinking about it and then decided that I liked the name ‘Lucy Lou.’ We also talked about certain aspects of the whole cross-dressing thing. How and when.
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