"Oh God! NOOOOO! Lord, take my life, please. Please don't take her, God, Please!"She had died immediately on impact. After I saw her I passed out!I woke up in a hospital the next day and everything seemed so unreal. I had a concussion, a broken arm and severe road gash all over. The doctor said I was lucky to survive that collision myself. I asked about Lisa and he just shook his head. Tears streamed down my cheeks.The police came in and took my statement and said that the driver of the truck had been drinking and was booked for DWI and Vehicular Manslaughter. They apologized for my loss and left. This was my fault! I was speeding. I had agreed to take her riding. I should have left for St. Louis that morning like I said I would. She was dead because I loved her! She was dead because of me.Once the doctor knew my concussion was healing and the gashes were scabbing nicely, he discharged me and Mark took me to his house to stay for a while. We all talked and cried about losing Lisa and. What the hell was so terrible that she couldn't marry me?" She was very reluctant, but finally she blurted out: "All right, Alfred, there's only one way to tell you: The hard and honest way. I get this intolerable craving about once a month: I have to go and get myself fucked silly by two or three black guys who use and abuse me. There, now it's out." I tell you, I was stunned, and I was silent for several minutes, trying to digest this, one way or another. My first inclination was to get up and kick her out and never to see her again. What do you think? How would you have handled it?"He looked up at me again, but this time his eyes did not reveal much."I really don't know, Alfred. I just don't know. You see, perhaps I'm not the right person to ask that question. The last five years before my wife died, we had a 'kink' of a similar kind: I enjoyed sharing my wife now and then, with a complete stranger. But then, I had known her for many years, and I knew it would not endanger our.
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