There was no compromise in his tone. It was delivered with such force that it caught me completely by surprise.I am unused to failure. I haven't experienced it very often and this came as a shock. I thought I was so well prepared. I was sure Howard would see that this was important to me and that he wouldn't deny me my need. He's never denied me anything I really wanted before. Why did he react so dramatically this time?I had to rethink my situation. I love Howard. I know I do. But I need some excitement in my life. I'm nearly fifty and I need this. I need someone to help me feel alive and desirable. God knows, Howard is a wonderful lover. He fills me so completely and he is so thoughtful with me. I couldn't ask for a more considerate husband. But ... I need more.I've really made a mess of this. I've alerted him to my intention. I've stupidly caused him to doubt me. There is no way I can indulge myself if he is watching me closely. Why did I have to warn him? What kind of fool am I?. "A new drug, Martha," her husband replied quickly."Nicole wouldn't use drugs," Martha Carter said, bristling a bit at the silent accusation."She didn't know what happened after she got here, Mrs. Carter. I'm sure someone else gave it to her without her realizing it."Jason Carter paled a bit.The door burst open. Nurse Riley said quickly, "She's crashing, Doctor."Doc Mayfield and Nicole's parents raced to her room. Mayfield tried to revive and stabilize the girl, but his efforts were in vain."I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Carter, there is nothing more I can do." Mrs. Carter held her daughter's hand, tears streaming down her suddenly aged cheeks. Jason Carter nodded solemnly and turned to comfort his wife as Doc Mayfield ushered the nurses out of the room.After a while, Jason Carter emerged from his daughter's room. Spying Doctor Mayfield consulting with the nurses at the desk, he walked purposefully over to him."Doctor Mayfield," Mr. Carter said nervously. "Is there someone I can talk to.
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