I'd catch my breath, squirm in myseat and begin to blush...furiously...uncontrollably....I felt as though Iwere going to melt. And then he'd continue with the conversation and withina minute or two I'd compose myself.Looking back, I guess I was falling under his control even then.We'd discussed virtually everything in the past, there were no taboos. Allof the (to my mind) shocking, embarrassing fantasies that I harboured,fantasies I'd tried to repress but that just never went away...we talkedabout them all, with no judgement, no lecherous comments, just acceptanceand understanding. I understood now, with Richards guidance, that thesedesires were actually not that uncommon, that I shouldnt beat myself upover having them and also that they would never, ever go away. Like manysubmissives, bondage and restraint were highly charged subjects for me andI'd confided in Richard that it was something I fantasised over. Thefeeling of helplessness...I dont know why but the very idea of it made. After meeting up with my martial arts instructor her name is Sara smith very beautiful but in her twenties sadly after five painful hours we ate lunch then it was time to start actual training with five more hours that’s why I always get there early otherwise I wouldn’t have any time to go to local bars my favorite was the bar downtown called THE OFFICE when I went there I asked the bar owner why he named it that and he said that it was for any guy who said to his wife this “honey im going to be stuck at the office tonight” then I laughed and said that was a good name then it turns out the place was a big hit mostly because there where a lot of people there men and women mostly in business suites which made me laugh hard one time and one time I saw a couple fight because they said they where going to be stuck at the office that they didn’t know that they where practically right behind each other then I was really tempted to go over there to look behind them which I did then they both.
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