"The Keeper's mouth dropped open in shock, and then a huge smile engulfed his face. He eventually got back his breath and stammered his thanks. "My dear sir, you are too generous. It will remain here on display, so that others might marvel at the skill of the maker." He continued in this vein for some time. Eventually, keeping a tight hold of the sword and scabbard, he called for one of his minions to 'go fetch the Highland broadsword'.A few minutes later the minion returned bearing a basket handled broadsword, as carried by officers of Highland regiments. The Keeper handed it over to me. "This is as fine an edged weapon as ever produced in this country and will serve you well."I took hold of it, and managed to get it to sit in my sword belt, while the damascened sword was carried off, watched by the longing eyes of the Keeper. He turned and faced us after the door had closed on his 'beloved'."Now, to more mundane things - the pistol that you brought in for my examination. Well, it is. The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98. After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, “Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?”(HERE IT COMES!!!)The wife said, “Let him dig. I had him buried upside down ... and I know he won’t ask for directions.”A radioactive cat has 18 half-lives.A lonely frog goes to a psychic to find out about his future. The psychic tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet her? At work, at a party?”“No,” says the psychic, “in a biology class.”Two chemists, a brunette and a blonde, walk into a bar.The brunette says, “I’ll have some H2O.”The.
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