That’s just it! It felt so good to be wanted again… I haven’t felt that for far too long!” I was beginning to get angry with him. In the back of my mind I kept questioning why he wasn’t angry with me.“I’m so sorry I failed to show you the love and attention you deserve. You should know how attracted I am to you, how attracted I’ve always been to you. What can I do to fix this? Tell me what I can do.”Now I was dumbfounded. Nothing about this seemed right. Again, I brushed those thoughts aside, telling myself I should be grateful he doesn’t want to murder me, or worse leave me. I mean, aren’t I lucky to have such a forgiving husband?“I can’t talk about this anymore. I need sleep to clear my head. I can’t think straight right now.” My rational side was returning, and it knew I needed rest. My whole body was weak, I was an emotion wreck. We could talk more later.“You’re right. Let me help you to bed.” He wrapped his arm around me lifting me out of the chair. Having been planted in that. Now that my body is tight, lean and strong guys are starting to take interest in me again, and not just guys my age, young guys! Something about the new feeling of vigor got me to fantasizing about a young man and I see soo many of them at the gym. Their young tight strong bodies showing off for me started to build excitement in me and one day while I was talking and flirting with a young man I decided to just blurt out if he needed a ride home. I couldn't believe I had even said it, the guy was only just over 18, but he knew what I was asking and said sure! Once in my car I was soo nervous and I looked at him and sheepishly said I would really rather take you to my home. He smiled and just said ok, so we drove off. I felt like a serial killer with her first prey, and it was a feeling of power. Once at my house I invited him in and led him to the bedroom. He knew what was going on, but he was nervous and I think I might have been his first. I didn't know what to do so I just looked.
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