I distinctlyremembered all of that. Why and how, in the name of God, could thathave been reversed? Who had done this to me? Hot tears were waiting fortheir chance to flow, but I managed to keep them in check, howeverbarely.Another emotion that wasted no more time in assaulting me was shame. Ihad woken up after dreaming of passionate sex with a man, and to besure, my feminine organs had reacted as they would have if theencounter had happened in the waking world. They were slathered in aliquid that was slowly turning into a disgusting sticky substance as itwas beginning to dry, and I had no choice but to clean myself rightaway. It was difficult for me to think of anything that could haveadded insult to injury more poignantly than having to scrub my newvulva after going to sleep a few hours ago as a completely normal manwho believed he would forever more be free from this madness.Taking the bull by the horns, I locked the door, pulled down my pants,sat on the toilet seat and went to. Maybe I just needed something to shake me, to wake me up, to make me feel alive by putting me at risk. I would do anything to continue feeling that way, anything. I just hoped to remain in one piece for long enough to figure out who I was, before I could no longer say I was somebody. I woke up feeling different. I'm used to being really agitated in the morning, as I grew up having a military father giving orders, checking schedules and making me hurry up with everything, every single day. So even now, months after he was transferred to another state, I'm still used to waking up stretching up like a cat and just jumping off the bed every day soon as I’m awake... But not today. Today I just opened my eyes and tried to reconstruct the earlier night. And a sudden smile came up on my face.I was trying to understand how the most screwed night of my entire life had turned up to be the most exciting night ever. The stinky and scary bar, the gang fight, a man shooting at us with a.
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