I don't have the clothes for it anyway," I giggled. "All right? Please?" Well..." Steve looked at Lisa and she looked at him and I looked at the clock wondering how much time I had before Monica showed up.I couldn't tell you why I hadn't told my brother about Monica, or maybe I could. I was pretty sure Steve wouldn't let me go out partying with some girl we didn't even know except as the ex-babysitter/girlfriend of a boy who wanted to be my boyfriend. That would have been hard to explain anyway and being in a strange city like Seattle, and just fourteen like I was, there was no way my brother was gonna let me go anywhere except with him and Lisa.Probably I should have listened to that reasonable voice, but maybe I felt reckless. Maybe I wanted to feel grown-up. Maybe I just didn't know what I was doing or why. But I was determined to go out with this Monica girl and at least see what life in the big city was like, you know? It was sorta scary and exciting in a way. Nothing. I was toldthat Julie would be staying with us occasionally. She had a separatelife and would be off trolling for a new recruit soon. In the mean timeshe would be joining us on a regular basis. She was happy that I hadkept my promise to not have sex with another woman. I told her thatconsidering I had only been in the presence of men and trannies for thelast year that that had not been a problem. Besides I had grown toaccept my new role. Other than my old attraction for her I doubt I wouldhave even considered having an affair with a woman again. She liked thatanswer. I then added that I thought that what she did for a living wasterrible. "I used to be a man with a good career. You turned me into awhore." Her smile faded. "I know but it's what I do best. Are you angry withKarl as well?" "I don't know. I think I love him and that must mean that I forgive him.As for you, I am attracted to you, but I don't love you anymore. It wasa mistake that I ever did. Last night was.
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